It’s almost the unspoken rule of my life – that if you do not like Beyonce then there’s about a 98 percent chance I might not enjoy your company. Last year, was my first year in college.
I moved from a tiny island in the Caribbean called Aruba, to study International Communications and Media in the Netherlands. As a woman of color in a sudden predominant white country. I immediately started digging for how I was going to spice up my life. I arrived in The Netherlands the second of August and by August 20th, I was already over it. I knew this student life was going to be hard. People here just didn’t seem alive.
At to it that I moved from having summer all year long, to being in a cold grey weather that didn’t make any sense to me.
The first day of school, I look at my classmates and being the spark of fire I am. I go “Drop the bass man, the bass get lower, radio say speed it up I just go slower”. Next thing I know everyone is joining in. Everyone knew the song. Mind you, The whole year, it became our theme. We loved Beyonce and really, it became the only common space between one too many cultural differences. But that was just a funny anecdote, the story goes deeper.
I am 23 now, so I was in my early teens when Beyonce started soaring. When you couldn’t go to Mcdonalds without hearing Baby boy or Crazy in love. The hype of the internet was not what it is today, so we didn’t know much about her except that she was on the radio all the time.
I struggle with feeling sad a lot, it is hard to admit but part of growing up is being honest.
There isn’t anything that I have not done to push through the sad. Yet, at the top of my list of coping methods is Beyonce’s music. She makes it so easy for me to dream, for me to snap out of it and have faith in myself. As women we are so conditioned to put ourselves in a box.
Women, are not granted the flexibility of being multi faceted. Somedays, I want to change the world and some days I want to make my booty clap, but as an aspiring activist and writer I find myself ashamed of being sexual or expressing myself for the fear that any slip might ruin my image. I write for a newspaper back home and my articles always have a serious tone.
I tend to touch topics that are very taboo in our little society. So now people view me as this hero in the making, who is always standing up for others. But at the end of the day, I am still 23. I still want to rap, I still want to wear little clothing, I still want to get drunk without feeling shame. I still want to embrace being sexy, without having to feel like I am selling myself cheaply. To say it like it is. I still want to hoe.
So, I feel like this is where Beyonce’s whole life, serves purpose. Because she is doing it all, without one care in the world. Beyonce goes from video vixen, to activist, to mommy, to wife all while looking fabulous. Beyonce doesn’t lose her head over anyone else’s opinion of the woman she is. Beyonce just does Beyonce, and in a world where women are so systematically oppressed, it is a revolution in itself.
I crave to be a revolution too. Though I might not be there yet, though I have to push pass all these social conditionings and find my own self. I repeat, Beyonce does Beyonce and because of that, I have faith that one day Yakari might just do Yakari.
Somedays I have God’s grace, I work pass my prayers and I keep moving.
Most days , I have on who run the world and flawless and I waltz through the day with my hips swinging.