I didn’t want to incorporate
the past in any of my present
pieces, but you know how it is.

Memories will always linger
around like dust, and it doesn’t really matter how often you clean,
they find their way back.

but, my dusty brain
won’t matter today,
it won’t spill my secrets, it won’t
take away the sparkle in my eyes,
it won’t remember your phone number, it won’t send mixed signals to my heart, trying to mess up the peaceful atmosphere that is going on in there

…I simply won’t allow it.

Instead, I will pull out the extension
that connects my brain with the rest of me. I will leave it on a corner watching over those vicious thoughts that only seek to awake the insecurity in me.

just for today
I will not sit down and grief about an unanswered text, about a broken promise, about an unheard apology, about a friend who only calls when they are in need, and about the people who don’t know how to appreciate me.

I will not look in the mirror and tell myself to improve..instead I will look into my own eyes and see all the things I see in you, I will tell myself that I’m worth it, and that I am capable of achieving
anything …because I truly am

Because, my bones are made of a stainless steel, I may rust but
I won’t break
even if you can’t see why you should love me, and even if you can’t admit that you’re wrong
you won’t manage to make me feel bitter anymore..

so what, if I fell asleep feeling miserable last night, today is brand new, its free and I carry inspiration on my fingertips.. ready to turn whatever I find into poetry, ready to write me like a child describing the way a blanket makes him feel…

because although, things changed
and everyone found somebody else..
although, I can’t recall why you chose to leave me, though I can’t recall how much time has passed since I last held you,

I will stick you within the fibers of my happiness and I spend the rest of my days with you inside of me

(written august 7th, of 2012)

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